PINK OGRES
by chocoGONEsushi
Summary: Writing challenge. The Weasley twins will never stop playing their favorite game: Malfoy Baiting. H/D R/H N/G   Disregards deaths. Rated T for Malfoy's creative use of the English language.


**Title**: PINK OGRES  
><strong>Author<strong>: chocoGONEsushi  
><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: This is it.  
><strong>AN**: My friend (**DoctorLia**) gave me a Harry Potter writing challenge, which goes as follows:  
>- must include five main characters<br>- the twins must pull a prank  
>- The phrase "pink ogres" must be in at least one conversation<br>This is my first HP anything, and I'm so excited. I love this fandom so much.  
><strong>Warnings<strong>: Completely disregards character deaths. I'm still in denial.  
><strong>Pairings<strong>: Draco/Harry, Ron/Hermione, Neville/Ginny  
><strong>PLEASE NOTE<strong>: PINK OGRES is a wrock band which I totally made up for the sake of this oneshot. I imagine it to be an all-girl band that is always dressed in pink, but are total badasses. Ronald Weasley is a shameless groupie.

Enjoy.

x

"I am going to destroy you, you ginger fucks!"

Harry Potter was sitting in the kitchen of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, sipping his afternoon tea while looking over some papers, when one livid Draco Malfoy stormed right in, face scrunched up in rage and fists clenching and unclenching. Harry was mid-sip when he bothered to actually acknowledge his seething boyfriend (if he made a fuss every time Draco was upset over anything he would be one very fussy individual) and erupted in a coughing fit. Draco's gray eyes landed on him and his scowl intensified.

"Not a word," he hissed, and stomped out of the kitchen, seeking blood.

When Harry finally managed to catch his breath, he was immediately assaulted by two very amused Weasley twins.

"Is he gone then?" asked George, leaning on Harry's chair, staring in the direction Draco left with a massive grin on his face. Fred was behind his brother, combing back his ginger locks from his eyes.

"He is going to murder you both," was all Harry said. Curiosity got the best of him, however, and he found himself asking, "What made you think it was a good idea to tattoo "PINK OGRES" on Draco Malfoy's forehead?"

Fred grinned much like his twin brother. "Good advertisement. The berk has a massive forehead."  
>Harry rolled his eyes.<p>

"You do realize you can't help me if you're dead, right?"  
>"Nonsense," George said, taking a seat at the kitchen table with Harry. Fred followed, making quick work of piling some biscuits on a saucer.<br>"It's not even permanent."

They could hear Draco from all the way upstairs, and from the ruckus he was making it was obvious the blond was still very much upset.

George was in the process of pouring himself some tea when the fireplace in the adjoining room, the sitting room, roared to life. A couple of seconds later a very pregnant Hermione Granger entered the kitchen, followed closely by Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom, who was still cleaning ashes from his jumper.

"Herman! Looking as pregnant as ever," the twins chirped simultaneously.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Always a pleasure to see you two."

She bent to kiss Harry on the cheek. "Ron should be coming by later," she said to him. "Kingsley needed him to finish some paperwork. You know what that's like."

Hermione seemed different. Harry had first noticed when she first told him about the pregnancy almost eight months ago. She seemed brighter, happier. It was wonderful and contagious.

"Speaking of which, how goes the case?"

There was silence when a distinctive "FUCKING TWATS!" could be heard from a bathroom upstairs.

"It's fantastic, going really well," Fred said behind his teacup.  
>"The best."<p>

Harry turned to the other two guests, leaving Hermione to decipher the twins' words by herself.  
>"Hullo Luna, Neville."<br>Luna Lovegood smiled at Harry. "Hello, Harry."  
>Neville chose to nod instead.<p>

"How's Ginny?" Harry asked the man.  
>Neville had been in a relationship with Ginny Weasley for almost two years now. The two were surprisingly good together. Neville was a herbologist while Ginny was the Hollyhead Harpies' new Seeker.<p>

"She's in love, Harry," Neville said, going around Luna to find a seat at the large dining table. "Honestly, she looks forward to those practices."

"Gives you alone time with your plants, eh, Nev?" George said, looking a little smug behind a biscuit as a door was heard slamming from upstairs.

"Well, yeah. I'm just glad she's found something she truly feels passionate about."

Hermione placed a hand on her chest. "That's beautiful, Neville."

Harry stared down at his rapidly cooling tea then at his paperwork. Now that the house was full (which was silly, because it's not like he had invited the entire Weasley family) he was pretty sure he wouldn't be getting any work done.

"Is Draco still making lunch, Harry?" Luna asked from Neville's side, where she had found a seat.

Hermione, Luna, and Neville were part of a small book club, which started out as nothing more than the trio taking some time from their busy lives to read in silence and maybe discuss what they'd read. It was still very small, since they were the only members, but it had evolved from being just a book club. They now took trips and wrote articles for interested papers. Harry had invited them over for lunch today, since the twins were going to be over anyway, helping Harry with his case back at the Ministry. Draco had volunteered to make the actual food, since he had a recipe he was meaning to try out.

That all went to hell, however, when certain twins decided it would be fun to engage in Malfoy baiting.

"Er, I'm not sure actually," Harry replied honestly.

Just then they heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and The Boy Who Lived found himself mildly surprised as Draco Malfoy appeared inside the kitchen, looking as calm as ever, with a glaringly bright "PINK OGRES" flashing on his forehead. He seemed to be only paying attention to the twins, however, because very calmly Draco said, "Alright. I promise not to do lasting damage if you get this off right now."

There was an intake of breath as the new guests took note of what was on the renown Potions Master's forehead. Harry found himself admiring his boyfriend's endless amounts of courage as he simply ignored them all.

George and Fred simply shared a look before staring back at the young Malfoy.

"I'm afraid we can't help you there, Draco."  
>"There's no counter course."<br>"Have to wait until it wears off."  
>"In a week."<br>"Probably."

No one was surprised when Draco launched himself across the kitchen table, except maybe Ron Weasley, who stumbled in to find his best friend's boyfriend choking one of his brothers while kicking the other repeatedly in the solar plexus.

Ronald blinked before his eyes widened. "Hey, I love that band!"


End file.
